It has been over a month since I last wrote anything here. I still have not touched my saxophone. For some reason, I have lost my desire to play. Music still interests me. Not enough to do anything about it, though.
It could be the constant pain. I’m always tired from working. Oh yea, I’m always working. There really is no time left to practice. And even if there were, I’d be too tired to do it. The bottom line, playing music is not a priority anymore.
When I was young, music was the major force in my life. It was all I thought about most of the time. I wanted to be a star! Never in my younger life would I have ever said music is not a priority.
Now I’m old, tired, and have no drive. I don’t desire ANYTHING. No ambitions. I don’t know what my life means anymore. I’m here for my kids. I can’t help them much financially speaking. All I can do is encourage them.
I don’t know what I should be doing.