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I did not particularly want to play at church, but they asked me. I could have found or made up an excuse as to why I couldn’t do it, but I really did feel compelled to do it. My reason for not wanting to do it, is I have done it before at other churches. Dealing with some of the egos can be as difficult as dealing egos outside the church. Only it is harder at church because you’re trying to behave. I like the people in my church. I don’t want to find out that there are egos in the music ministry I don’t like.

Another part of why I didn’t necessarily want to do it is fear. I was not sure I would be able to do a good job. I have not depended solely on my ear in front of other musicians or an audience for a very long time. I think I did okay. My saxophone was sounding pretty good today. I don’t always get that happening. It was great. The horn was not getting in the way of my thinking and listening. It allowed me to concentrate and play better.

Another reason I didn’t want to play is that I don’t necessarily like the new modern church music. I really like the old hymns. I wish they did more of that at my church. I find the new stuff kind of boring. I miss a choir belting out the old tunes. Now there’s a praise team that I can’t hear because the mic volumes are too low. Well, there aren’t that many people going to our church these days, but I think God has something cooking. The Pastor sure seems to have a new fire on display.

In the end, I am glad I did it. They had been asking me for years. I’d either give an excuse or suddenly stop going to church. This year, however, I feel the Lord wants me to do something different; to contribute to something. It seem like something else may be going on in the church, the community, the world?. I don’t know what that is yet, but I want to participate and be a part of it..