Sax Blues

And not the good kind. I have the blues for real because I can’t play the saxophone. I finally got a shoulder strap that works for me (not too much pain in the neck area), but, I can’t believe how far I have fallen. It is completely discouraging.

Songs and styles I used to know are not within my immediate reach. I was just trying to play Blues For Alice, by Charlie Parker a little while ago. It is a song I have known since I was in the 10th grade. I can’t play it! I can’t believe how awful it was.

Some parts of my improvisational skills are intact (very basic skills), but I don’t think I will get back to where I was before for a very long time.

I want to play the saxophone. I used to love playing the saxophone. I am no longer consumed with the desire to play the saxophone anymore. Without that drive and feeling of excitement, it will be extremely hard to get back what I have lost. I’m not even sure that what I have lost is still within my grasp.

For the most part, I am still able to listen to and enjoy other players. My favorites right now are John Coltrane, Michael Brecker, David Sanborn, and Kirk Whalum. And there are several new players that I have recently discovered. I don’t mean to sound sexist, but what I am about to write, well, it is sexist. Having never heard any really good female players, I didn’t think there were any. That is SO not true. I have made some recent discoveries.

Sharel Cassity and Roxy Coss are just 2 such players I’ve come across. They both are quite talented, and they make me sick! They’re so young and can play music that I was never able to play. They are on a different level than I ever was.

I also had the honor of playing with a couple of great female sax players in the Navy. One was Kathy Stiles. The other was Connie (I can’t remember her last name). They both were better tenor sax players than I ever was.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes I just want to put it away and never touch it again. But then I would feel like I was wasting something that the Lord had given me. That’s the only thing that keeps me trying. But I sure don’t enjoy it the way I did before. I really don’t know what happened.

Well, I’m tired of writing about it now. I will keep practicing, but it is so discouraging.