I did not want to play at church, but they asked me. I could have found or made up an excuse for not doing it, but I felt compelled to do it. I did not want to do it because I had done it before at other churches. Dealing with some egos can be as tricky as dealing with egos outside the church. Only it is more complicated at church because you’re trying to behave. I like the people in my church. I don’t want to find out that there are egos in the music ministry I don’t like.

Another reason I didn’t want to do it is fear. I was not sure I would be able to do a good job. I have not depended solely on my ear in front of other musicians or an audience for a long time. I did okay. My saxophone sounded good today. I don’t always get that happening, but it was great. The horn was not getting in the way of my thinking and listening. It allowed me to concentrate and play better.

Another reason I didn’t want to play is that I don’t necessarily like the new modern church music. I like the old hymns. I wish they did more of that at my church. I find the contemporary stuff boring. I miss a choir belting out the old tunes. At our church, there is a praise team that I can’t hear because the mic volumes are too low. Not many people are attending our church these days, but I think God has something cooking. The Pastor sure seems to have a new fire on display.

In the end, I am glad I did it. My Pastor’s wife (a piano player) had asked me to play for years. I’d either give an excuse or suddenly stop going to church. This year, however, I felt the Lord wanted me to do something different, to contribute to something. Something else may be happening in the church, the community, and the world. I don’t know what that is yet, but I want to participate and be a part of it.