I don’t enjoy music the way I used to. A little jazz improvisation practice at home, but other than that I find it all quite boring.
I don’t know what has happened. I don’t want to blame it on years of playing with the Navy. I don’t think that’s it. I have just lost interest.
Perhaps it’s my age, or all the pain in my body. Maybe I’m depressed. Who knows? Really, I don’t want to do anything, musically or otherwise. I just want to BE.
I was a music major in college.
Spent 20 years in the Navy Music Program.
I am now living in South Carolina.
My struggles are with my weight, loneliness, and a lack of motivation to do anything about either. I still love music. I just don't have the drive I had in my 20's to chase after it anymore.
I don't know what's left in this life for me. I have no desire or ambitions toward achieving anything. Is that a lack of will to live? I don't know. Here I am though. And I will be here until things are different I guess. I'm tired.
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